Twelve months ago, if you would have told me I would be beginning a new career, I would have said you were flat out nuts! I am sure that God has called me to Youth and Family Ministry and I am sure He has not called me to ordained ministry of Word and Sacrament.
The longer I'm in this field, the more I realize how much I didn't learn about God in my teens. It is incredibly difficult to be a faithful adult. I believe many of us would have a much easier time of it if we had the proper "training" as we were growing up. Now, let's be fair, our parents, pastors, confirmation teachers and youth volunteers did the best they could and I applaud them for that. Thank goodness, though, for theological training for people like me so we can really do right by our teenagers.
So, this is what I do. And you know what, I'm pretty dang good at it. I'm thoughtful and intentional. I create an environment in which kids and teens can really feel God's love for them (and what an amazing feeling that is when we finally recognize it!). Once they know what God's love is like, I help them to extend that love out into their world. Once they've gotten a taste of all of this, their hooked (proof, I think, that God's story is worth telling) and they never want to go back. As much as they might have fought me tooth and nail, once they get on board they kick themselves for not getting there sooner. They thought they would miss "having fun" and the dreaded "too much learning and thinking." It doesn't take long before they get upset when we're having too much fun and not spending enough time taking care of the others in their church family.
So, if a year ago, you would have said that I would be "falling back on" my accounting degree, I would have said you were crazy. I love what I do and I don't want to do anything else. But, as it turns out, there is one VERY important part of church work that I'm not very good at (read: I suck at it!).
Politics. Who knew that a Christ-centered, growing, generous, kind, loving, Spirit-filled middle America ELCA congregation of 700 could have so much of that stuff we all hate. Don't we spend hours over the course of every four years talking about how awful politics are and how it would be nice if Washington was filled with people rather than politicians? Yeah, me too. I'm not a politician. I don't use talking points, I don't have tag lines, I don't take polls before I use a certain word or decide what color shirt I should wear. I'm a straight shooter: I say what I mean, I mean what I say and I take others at face value too. If you want me to have a piece of information, you better say it straight out 'cause I don't have time to try to read your mind. If you don't say it, I'm not gonna even know it exists. And that's why I'm starting another career: politics. Who knew?
So, I guess accounting will be my second career. Time to make some lemonade. I will still be working with people and helping them reach their goals in life/business. I can still be a servant of God in many of the same ways: kindness, grace, compassion...and I won't have to deal with quite as much politics. At the end of the day, I will shut down my computer, say goodbye to my office mates and go home. I won't be worried if such and such stock did well for this guy and I won't be worried if this company made enough profit to pay their dividends. I'll get to spend my evenings and weekends with my husband and my son and when I grow weary of them, I'll go back to work on Monday.
Here's to hoping that two times is the charm!
wait, what? you have a new job? i'm so confused ...
ReplyDeleteso am I
ReplyDeleteOh, my goodness Erin, Learning about God in your teen aged years may have required more notice of your maternal grandparents and your mom. Maybe you couldn't (or weren't meant to) learn by those examples, but they were there. So I hope you could find ways to express appreciation for that, find merit in it instead of implying that it wasn't there. I didn't recognize the value of my parents teaching about God until many years later when I noticed that what had transferred as sure as DNA, was high moral standards and virtues. What clears the channel to God more? It's events like dad taking the five cents overpaid to him back to the shop owner--burnished in my mind.
ReplyDeleteYou write a beautiful description of what you do for kids to get them in touch with the Divine. While you try (and usually succeed at)saying what you mean, and meaning what you say; sometimes other's meanings come in to play, and for that you have to know what those meanings are. Otherwise your observations will be yours, and to that degree, biased. Take it from a meaning expert (your momma, the phenomenologist)... You will always find others who can not say what's on their mind straight, so you need to try and understand them.
I know in writing this, you have certain big things you want others to understand, to appreciate your perspective. You sound like a loner out there though...can you remind yourself of positive relationships in your teen and early adult years that helped you get closer to God, even if by unconventional routes? Thought of in that way, every relationship leads there.
How would you advise your kids if they were feeling the way you do now? What questions can I ask (would you ask) to better understand what you are thinking and feeling about this?