Tuesday, November 6, 2007

The already and the not yet?

I was "home" (at my mom's house) over the weekend and several times in 36 hours, one or both of us said, "Holy crap! It's November!" or something like that.

Josh died in August, more than 2 months ago! My mom mentioned on her care page this week that time has sort of stood still since Josh's departure. While my journey these past months is no match to hers, I seem to have fallen into a similar experience and I cannot begin to understand it, let alone explain it.

So, perhaps a simple update on my world would be appropriate.

In the 16 days following Josh's diagnosis - August 8th - I traveled home twice for a total of 6 days there with my mom and siblings. I stayed 2 days more after his death. I was then back to Champaign 2 days and then back to Beloit for 5 days more. It was a whirlwind month to be sure, but it was perfectly what it needed to be.

My brother made his way back to Iraq in the early part of September only to find out he had taken and unauthorized extension of his leave. So, he had extended duty for 14 days (which meant he worked 6-10 pm on weekdays and 8-4 on weekends). He slept little and was none too happy with himself or the Army for creating such a situation. All is well though. He could have had his pay docked or lost rank, either of which would have been "worse" than extended duty. With the help of his CO, he has found his way to some professional counselors, Air Force officers, to help him with his emotional struggles. Ironically, his troubles have little to do with his experiences in the Army (which is what they're there for....to assist in dealing with being in a war), but the US Military is going to help him out and we all are more than thankful that our Patty Danny is finally making some progress with these things.

Work continues to be great. Not perfect, but really wonderful. The Firm Administrator, my "boss" is really quite a guy. Having nothing to do with his job, he is smart, passionate, creative, funny and generally great to be around. The best part is that he brings all of those things into his job, and therefore into my job. He recognizes and values highly the gifts of the people around him and works hard to make their jobs about those gifts. He's considerate enough to let me know when I'm doing something that might make my life a little difficult LONG before it ever could. I'm left plenty of opportunity to correct my foibles and they never then turn into something more that an "oops." He also is full of praise when things are done well. Not many folks are afforded the opportunity to work for such a person. Thankful isn't a big enough word...whatever the right one is: that's what I am.

The hubby and I have found a house we really love and we're in full swing of trying to get financed while trying to not get screwed...its a fun game when you're a complete idiot in the field which you are trying to excel.

Clayton is growing like a friggin' weed and I can't even believe it. Today on the way home there was some Christmas commercial on the radio with jingle-bells on the background. In the middle of a sentence (yes, he has real, honest to God complete sentences!) he said, "Listen mama! Do you hear those bells?" "Yes Clayton, I hear them." "They are such beautiful bells mama!" While we were home, my mom commented on how his conversations are real now. You can ask a question and he will answer and he will ask a question and you answer and he processes the answer and the conversation flows beautifully from one moment of interest to the next.

This is for another entry but: Whoever came up with the phrase "terrible two's" didn't have a three year old yet!!! It's like someone flipped the "defiant" switch in my child on his 3rd birthday. I sure am glad a year is only a year long...

So, it's fall and I still feel like it must be August or maybe September. I guess I was pretty smart when I named my blog. :)